A lot of you have been asking me to add more images and suchlike content to my posts so I thought I would share a series of photos I took on Saturday evening (3rd November). A really spectacular sunset, with amazing colours and there have been a number of similar posts on social media.
Enjoy!
Images: Private collection Jill Kramer (copyright). November 2018
Chapter 1
As the car pulled away and she turned to wave back one more time, she could hardly believe it. Yes, they were on their way and how they had arranged this time away was still amazing. Well, to be perfectly honest, she had never in her wildest dreams imagined that she would have been able to pull it off with such panache. Ten days away. Ten whole days! First of all a long weekend away, with her best friend Daz and then the rest of the week away with her lover! God, her life was full of secrets these days and had been for the last six months. If anyone had asked her: what will you be doing in 6 months from now? She would have just tilted her head and answered: ‘the usual’.
She and Daz had known one another for a long time, but their deep friendship had begun after Lot has moved away. Then they suddenly realized all the missed chances over the years, because when they met sporadically these days, but the friendship had taken on new depths. They both were married and had grown up children now but in some of other way, despite their age difference, they had becomes best friends. ‘You know what we need?’ Daz would often say when they met up every three months of so, ‘we need a weekend break together, a couple of days to relax and just chat on, there is just never enough time and then when you have gone back, I realize how much I miss our face-to-face meetings. App’s are fine, but it is just not the same’. ‘Agree’ replied Lot but they just talked about it and then again the next time they met up.
One sunny morning Lot received an app from Daz: She wrote: ‘You know I have been droning on about a weekend away, well I HAVE to have a weekend away, do you think you can get away?’ Lot rang her back on Facetime, ‘what’s happened?’ she enquired. ‘Too much to chat about but how about this for an idea? We could go to a wellness centre and have a couple of days being totally pampered?’ Wow that sounded such a good idea and just what Lot felt she needed. ‘Where?’ she asked. ‘Well’ Daz said. ‘I was thinking about that amazing wellness/spa place in the south of the country and I just happen to know that there is a park nearby where you can hire a house for a long weekend and we could just fill our days and have the full package of treatments!’ ‘Sounds wonderful’ Lot replied.
Later that day she approached the subject with her husband who had just caught the end of the Facetime conversation. ‘Daz has asked me if I would like to go on a short holiday with her, troubles at home and she needs a break’. Surprisingly he agreed and said it would probably do her good, a bit of ‘girls only’ time and a break as she had been working really hard this year with several projects on the go at the same time. Immediately Lot’s brain started to think. What if she could combine the idea with a week away with her lover? What if she could find some way to combine the two? Meeting him was tricky (if near impossible) to say the least, but this might just open the door for her to arrange something. Anything just to mean that she could spend some time with him. Up until now their meetings had been brief, dinners out and a couple of times a night away, but apart from that it was all top secret and actually very complicated.
In the meantime Daz booked a lovely little cottage style house, easy walking distance from the wellness centre and they both spent a couple of days on Internet looking up what treatments were available and both made a list. They laughed out aloud when they had virtually chosen the same things and Daz made a simple phone call and booked them into two days of sauna’s, haman, scrub sessions, a dead sea mud experience, something called a chocolate rasul, (whatever that might be?) pedicure, manicure, facials and such like. The water at the spa came from a natural source deep in the ground and was renowned for the bubbles it had, like champagne, they joked. Daz had to keep to her rather strict diet, she had several food allergies, but Lot was so easy going on that score she was happy just to go along and not drinking alcohol or either eating anything apart from vegetarian food, was to her all part of this package.
Unbeknown to Daz, she had been busy making her own set of arrangements. After consulting her friend, she found the most amazing house to rent for the week and when she and Daz were on their own having their weekend she would tell her all about their relationship. It would be a relief actually, she thought to have someone to talk to about him, because up until now she had not told a single soul. Their relationship was delicate and because of the circumstances, not to mention the fact that she was married, made it even more complicated. She had met him unexpectedly a few months ago and it had been something really special right from the word go.
The drive down was easy and took about three hours. They found the little park close by and checked into their house for their stay. It was lovely, modern and clean, it would be perfect. They then had some lunch and did a bit of shopping, ready to step into their programme the following morning.
That evening after an easy meal, they weren’t very hungry after the large lunch, they talked and talked. Lot had given in and actually bought a couple of bottles of her favourite wine and they agreed that perhaps no alcohol this weekend was taking things a bit too far!
Daz started her story first. Lot knew her husband and also her two children and that Daz loved to travel and did so often with another friend. Lot was quite envious of her stories in the past, all the exotic places she visited and of course it was almost a foregone conclusion that at some time she would meet someone who stole her heart. Her marriage was similar to Lot’s, a sort of slur, a habit, a lot of memories, but the spark had been extinguished in some way or another.
It must have been the wine that made it easier to talk and Daz told her that she had met this amazing man one night on the beach. ‘I just looked at him’ she said ‘and knew, this man is something special’. Apparently they walked for hours along the shoreline, talking and talking. It was her second trip back to that country which had really started the ball rolling and together with another girlfriend, they had made very secret arrangements to meet up with these two men and spend a holiday with them.
‘God’ Lot thought. Daz continued and broke her thoughts. ‘He is just amazing’ she said ‘and my goodness they are so right about Latin lovers!’
I am afraid I have to write another blog for you all following on my recent one entitled “Scammers are Scumbags”.
Little did I know that my words would become a sort of trending topic/hype all over the globe. Not that I consider myself to be anything particularly special or that I wrote something magnificent, but my words certainly resonated with a lot of people.
Before I go on, a huge thank you to all of you who shared your stories with me, by email. My INbox was overflowing. Each and every story was so sad. I could resonate with a lot of things people said. I was glad that I shared my own personal story.
But out of all the negativity something always positive happens. My own contact with two people whose photos are stolen so much and used by these scammers.
Dr.Fernando Gomez Pinto, A Brazilian neurosurgeon and Thomas Lindegaarde Madsen, a Danish sea Captain working for Maersk.
I have sort of become ‘friends’ with them both in a positive and legit way. Sharing thoughts about this whole sorry saga.
Yesterday evening Thomas put out a poll via Facebook having received a really nasty comment from someone that it was his entire fault. WHAT?
Seriously, it is his fault!! I don’t think so. It prompted me of course to respond to the many comments on his page. The majority supported him but this morning I was shocked to learn that 37% of the people (women) said it was his fault. Come on get real everyone. It is not his fault at all!
Thomas is, in my mind just as much a victim, as those who are scammed by those using his photos. A really nice looking man, true, but someone with a good heart and a good job. In a happy relationship with his husband. Thomas has openly said he is homosexual and with a responsible job like his, does anyone reading this honestly think he has the time or the inclination to be chatting away on IG or whatever, asking for money, ITunes cards or making romantic approaches to people. No of course NOT.
People actually enjoy what he shares about his travels across the world and this should not be a reason for him to stop. So please don’t Thomas.
What shocked me most of all is how vicious people are in their comments and I wonder would they have actually said this to his face?
Look once and for all, to my mind, these scammers really have to be stopped.
Just by chance I saw a TV programme here in Holland about a lady who had been contacted in a similar way by a British man living in South Africa. She was conned out of 65.000 Euros. The TV followed her story and investigated. Her so-called romantic scammer was a man living in Accra, Ghana. In a pretty posh villa too with an expensive car on the drive. The TV crew under Police assistance tracked down this man and confronted him. I so wish you all could have seen his face when she removed her wig (for disguise) and said: ‘Do you know me now’? He looked as if he was about to die on the spot.
The Police arrested them all. Unfortunately she will never get all her money back, but she did get his car (worth about 10.000 Euros). So nice job.
This has to be a wake up call for all of you out there. Stop and think!
I looked at my own IG profile and it was quite shocking to see that my viewers over the past few weeks have been 50% males from Lagos, in Nigeria.
WAKE UP CALL BIG TIME.
So my new golden rule is, although I love to be on social media, mainly for my work and also for friends and such like, if I get any messages or requests and I am in any way suspicious is: A simple Golden Rule. Delete, Block, Report.
Simple as that.
Worried about missing out or losing friends? Don’t be. The genuine ones will get through to you.
Recently someone reacted to one of my posts about my hip replacement, a man in the USA who had exactly the same surgery a week before me and enquired simply, how I was getting on. We have talked together since then, and quite a lot, mostly via Whatsapp. This means exchanging phone numbers. A risk? Maybe. But my gut feeling about him right from the first message was that it was ok. It is and we chat once a week or so about things in general. He shared a photo with me of his family and I did the same. We have a lot in common and have said that to one another. So there is nothing wrong with that. Don’t succumb into thinking that EVERYONE has an ulterior motive. They DO NOT! Do not paint everyone with the same brush. There are some really lovely genuine people out there.
But for every good person, there are a lot of bad people. They have nothing better to do than sit behind their laptops chatting to people, making them a victim by saying nice things. Do you remember in my first blog I said: ‘Flattery will get you everywhere’. It does. If you are alone, feeling down and looking for attention, then you are the type of people they are looking for. Recently divorced, lost your partner because of illness, vulnerable. You are the ones they want to contact with. They will flatter your ego, fall in love with you and then the trouble begins, because you are taken in by it all. They ask for help in all sorts of guises, but it all comes down to the same thing: money. That is all they want. Nothing more. They are not looking for a long-term relationship, only money. In actual fact they do not give a damm about you personally.
So thank you everyone for everything you shared. It’s tough I know. But just be glad, if you read anything recently either from me, Fernando or Thomas, the sole purpose was TO SHARE AND MAKE PEOPLE AWARE.
Keep safe, if in any doubt: delete, block and report.
Keep your social media accounts safe. You can actually apply for a ‘verification status’ on IG. Look in your settings. I say apply, there is not a guarantee that you will actually receive. But try you can for sure.
Again and at the risk of keep repeating myself. If you have any doubt, do not enter into conversations with people you don’t know. Never send them money, gift or ITunes cards. No matter how sob the story is. Do not be enticed to send any details about yourself personally and never give ID or bank account details.
A little bit more awareness of what we all share on social media is all we need to look at. We all do it. It is a sign of our times.
Unite and let’s all try and put a stop to this once and for all. They used to enter into our social media via Facebook Messenger. Now it’s Instagram. Or Dating Sites. Instagram is part of Facebook. So complain to Mark Zuckerberg! He is the CEO of Facebook. Make them take more care with our information. Be more secure. Or the alternative is that everyone deletes their accounts and he will certainly not want people to do that for sure!!
Lonely people being targeting by dangerous gangs of people. Take care.
Remember what I finished off my blog with last time:
Use your Head and not your Heart. Please for your own sake.
Special thanks to Fernando and Thomas for sharing thoughts with me about this and the attention it has received around the world. You are both very nice people. I am sorry for all of the horrid comments you both get sometimes, the blame people pass onto you. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! Stand tall and know you are so much better than all of that. You both know you are good people with good hearts. That is all that matters. Clear the clutter aside.
And move on.
Image: from Google Images, source unknown
This morning the first post I saw on Facebook was to remind me that it is now only 64 days until Christmas. 64 days!! No surely not? And if so where has the year gone?
Looking back I personally can only say that this year has been a year of absolute ‘highs and lows’ for me.
In some or other the way the year drawing to a close always becomes a moment of reflection for many reasons. For some there is a longing for the incredible weather we have had this year in the Netherlands. One of the hottest, sunniest and driest summers on record. And even though lots of us were complaining that it was too hot, we all enjoyed that ‘outdoors lifestyle’. This year actually planning a BBQ at the weekend was an absolute possibility.
However, nature has taken its toll. A lot of trees and shrubs have been starved of water. Normally there is a sufficient amount of rain in the year, but we sort of experienced the autumnal season here in the summer, because the leaves were drooping and eventually dying. To my surprise, we are having autumnal colours here at the moment; the remaining leaves are changing colour and dropping when it’s windy. But it is all going so fast.
Yes, the entire year has gone so fast. It only seems five minutes ago to me that it was Christmas 2017 and now the shops are stocking up and full of things for Christmas 2018. I always jokingly say that we should just leave our tree up and not bother taking it down, putting away all the decorations, but it seems as if time is literally flying. Is it because I am getting older, have there been so many things going on? Well on that score, I can answer a definite yes. 2018 has been quite a year for me personally and dominated by health issues, all of which I am happy to report are now solved.
But it has taken a lot out of me. Where I normally say to be people that ‘recovery’ is really my thing, it got harder. It got harder to keep on finding the inspiration to get up and go. I have no idea why? Maybe three operations in one single year were too much, but it just happened and on that score, it was for a good reason.
I often find that when the universe literally stops me in my tracks (and it is always a health issue that comes up), it is a sign for me that I have to stop and take note of something. An issue confirming that I am out of balance. I am not listening to my inner voice. Just tending to plod on with things, even though I may not agree with them anymore.
I have been involved in so called ‘spiritual issues’ right from the moment of my birth. So this is really nothing new for me. When the physical body and mind become out of balance, then the signs appear. It can be either small or big issues. From a simple headache to a total burnout. Or even worse.
What is to blame? Well there are so many reasons, I cannot even begin to write about them all, but the main reason is that these days we spend our lives in one big rush and we do not want to miss anything. We push ourselves to our absolute limits all the time and then eventually the physical body starts to show signs, telling, or more appropriately, warning you to make changes. Do we listen? Often not.
Society puts so many demands on us these days, we do not have time to move into the slow lane and evaluate.
Looking back on my year there have been some really surprising things. One of which is the end of a long friendship. It was really painful believe me. Having known someone for such a long time, shared so much and then to stand on the sidelines and watch them destroy their life, their partner, their family and all because they have been blinded by something so wrong. Despite all the good advice from every corner, they became totally blinkered to the truth and have made a path of destruction. It made and still makes me sad. There is nothing you can do.
Having watched this happen during my periods of recovery, it showed me that there is something we, as humans, are all craving for. More Love. Love is a really big key issue. Or rather the lack of it.
How often have you been confronted in situations where you have been left standing there flabbergasted by the way someone treated you? Many times? Yes, be honest I bet there is not a single person reading this blog who is not nodding their head in agreement. There is so much lack of tolerance these days between people. We are so focused on material possessions and this has become a total status symbol on how we stand in life.
Important are things like gadgets, homes, cars, jobs, positions, how high are you up the ladder and more important how high did you set the bar for yourself. We no longer seem satisfied with simple things in life. Everything has to be big and major.
As we make our way up to Christmas, the so-called season of ‘goodwill and joy to all mankind’ it is almost laughable. The way we treat fellow human beings these days leaves a lot to be desired. Tolerance? A huge lack of. Kindness? Ditto.
What is going wrong in the world and when does it stop. Literally billions of money is poured into the most ridiculous things. One of my big pet issues at the amount is the money, for example, football players receive in transfers. Oh come on; it is sport! Football is just kicking a ball around a pitch and yes I will say, you have to be fit, if you play for national and international teams, and yes then you have your own self-worth, but this is totally over the top these days.
Billions are poured into warfare. The most lucrative business ever. Why not spend the money building up nations and countries, which have been reduced to rubble. Helping the never-ending stream of asylum seekers in their own country. Ensuring that each and every individual on this planet has the very basic needs. Is that so much to ask?
2019 is going to be a ‘3’ year (just add up the numbers) 12, which reduces yet again to the 3. Three is the first number of the universal building blocks. Sacred Geometry. Sacred Geometry is in everything. The tetrahedron (or triangle). That is maybe food for thought! Maybe it is time to start re-building. Not only our personal lives, but lives of everyone sharing this planet with us. Remove the weeds, plant new seeds.
Set new goals, in all walks of life. Personal or otherwise.
It is time everyone, believe me, we cannot continue on this roller coaster ride. It is time to make change. So maybe if you, like me, think my goodness only 64 days to Christmas, the end of 2018 and into the New Year of 2019, then have a really serious think. What can you do yourself to bring change? What can you do to ensure that there is more love in the world? What can you release that no longer serves any purpose for you. Do you really need all these material possessions? Be honest. I know that I do not. There is really in this world one thing that money cannot buy and that is health.
We need to respect our bodies more, if we do not respect ourselves, how on earth can we respect others? Think about this.
All images from Google Images.
Hi everyone,
A little note from me which is a bit off topic from my usual posts. For those of you following my feed you will have seen that I recently wrote a blog entitled “Scammers are Scumbags’. This blog has gone viral ALL OVER THE WORLD! Why? Well I will tell you…read on please.
Like many of us these days and certainly people who are connected on all social media, my blog caught the attention of many people. I also shared it with two of the victims who photos are stolen by scammers and used in false accounts: Dr. Fernando Gomez Pinto (who I mentioned in my blog) and Thomas Lindegaard Madsen, a Danish ship’s captain working for Maersk.
Over the past few weeks since the blog was published my own Instagram account has been inundated with requests from people who want to follow me. Yes, I am perfectly happy with that and grateful that they enjoy my work. I get literally hundreds of emails and comments on my blogs every day and I share them (well the majority of them) in the feed so that others can read, especially when people ask questions or need help.
It must have been this that had an effect on my own Instagram account. Every day lots of new followers and lots of messages. I knew almost immediately that they were fake. Some using the photos of Dr. Fernando GM or Thomas L Madsen. They always begin with the words: ‘Hi’, Hi pretty’, ‘how are you?’ Also most accounts are a combination of names and numbers.
My own Instagram is JillianKramer12. A number too. This is purely the number of the house where I live and I have used this also for my website and email. The number has a special meaning for me, as it makes the 3, the first universal number, the first sacred geometrical shape, a triangle or tetrahedron. Nothing more than than.
Recently Dr. Fernando GM made a declaration on Instagram, talking live in his own language Portugese and also in English, about this subject and many people reacted to it. Including me (albeit in a private message to him). It is good that we joined forces with one another and as a team work towards stopping these people.
You may remember I did say in my blog ‘flattery will get you everywhere’. It makes you feel good when someone compliments you. No one wants to be rejected. No one.
But it is really important that you do use your head and not your heart if they contact you. Recently I have reported a lot of these fake accounts to Instagram. How? Well block their message and report as Spam. Instagram will confirm back to you that this has been done because these fake accounts are in violation of their rules and guidelines. Account holders will not see anything, this is completely anonymous. So don’t worry.
It makes me really sad that people can be taken in by all this. Watch for the tell tale signs: often there are little mistakes in the English, they always are divorced, widowed, lost their partner to a deathly disease, they are alone, looking for a new relationship with commitments. Also there is always a child involved, who needs help, money for medical attention. Fantasy stories and believe me they sound so pitiful that people actually begin to believe them. They fall in love with you fast, send you lovely romantic messages and it makes you feel good. Really !!
I have noticed through a lot of the emails and comments I have received that everyone is ‘waking up’. People are being honest, like me, saying that they were completely taken in by these scammers. The scammers themselves are usually located in places like West Africa, The Middle East, India and these are teams of well trained ruthless groups, behind laptops. Be careful, they have worldwide connections.
They want only one thing and that is money or some form of card like iTunes. Don’t fall for it, so people give too many details, get stuck in their web of lies. Stop! Think! Do not do anything other than delete and report them. Do not send anything to anyone you do not know personally.
If you suggest a online video chat they will come up with an excuse, the favorite being that they are in a dangerous war zone and cannot be online. They will ask you to go to Google Hangouts. Don’t! Ask for your email. Do not give it!
I am very grateful to both Dr Fernando GM and Thomas L Madsen for also giving attention to this subject. Both of them are also on Instagram but their accounts have been marked with a ‘small blue tick’ (by Instagram) that they are the genuine person. Anything else than that, just delete. Do not be taken in.
Combining together contributes to change and stopping these people. Believe me they will come up with something else. But in the meantime, be warned. Take care. Stay Safe.
Never fall for their stories, however genuine they may sound. Keep your own passwords and accounts safe. Change passwords regularly. Hackers and scammers are very clever.
A very special thank you for all of you who wrote emails and comments to me. You are brave and by being honest and telling people, sharing your own story in your own social circles. The more attention this gets, the more we can stop it. Together. As a worldwide team, irrespective of our languages.
USE YOUR HEAD AND NOT YOUR HEART !!!
This was my view when I woke up yesterday morning and thought I would share it with you. The Netherlands is enjoying exceptionally lovely weather at the moment, a true Indian summer, temperatures up in the twenties (oC) everyday. Such amazing colours and I thought: Start your day in a spectacular way. It does not get much better than this!
Thank you for the enormous response to my blogs and well-being. Glad to say getting better each and every day. Making progress every day, but at the same time, taking time to allow myself to heal.
Hope to continue work next week on my latest book in progress: The Art of Confessions.
One small note, there has been a huge response to the blog which is an excerpt from my book: The Blue House. This is a book written and published by me. It is available through www.bol.com
People asked ‘is there more?’ Answer: yes, another 38 chapters.
Happy Weekend everyone!
Just a very brief note to let all my readers know that I am going to be offline for a couple of days. Going to hospital Monday morning (reporting at 07.00 am!!!) so a very early start to have a hip replacement operation. Counting down now, 2 days to go.
Feeling nervous? A little, this is my third operation this year and hopefully the last!
it just happens to be Full Moon on Monday 24th September. Harvest Moon. I like it when things like this happen and coincide with important moments in my life. The date is nice too, I was scheduled for 10th October, but they brought it forward to 24th September. So September is the 9th month, one of the numbers that comes up frequently for me and the 2 plus 4 make 6. 6 is an energy number. I have already explained that 2018 is an 11 year, which is a master number. So the total of everything comes to: 26 which goes down to an 8, the never ending shape of the infinite.
And I am on the list to start at 08.00 am.
Love it when everything comes together. Back soon. Hopefully next week one of my books will come online (Fireflies in the Summer and other short stories). This will be via the UHMI link. You can read the first chapter for free and then to read on, purchase the book through UHMI. You need to make your account and log in, with a personal password, but payment is very easy. The idea behind this, as my books are already for sale through www.bol.com was to offer them around the world avoiding postal and packing charges.
Back soon and thank you all very much indeed for the huge amount or reactions to the latest blogs, most appreciated.
Jill
Image: Private Collection (Robin Kramer). Taken in my garden on 21st September 2018. Nearly a full moon and the autumn equinox
Now it’s my turn to take over the healing. Everything still feels a bit stiff and sore and I feel a bit shaky, but now at home and settle myself into a routine of taking things easy for the next three weeks or so. Giving my body time to heal, allowing the veins and arteries and also my heart to get used to this new feeling. A perfect sinus rhythm just like everyone else has. Normally people never think about this, but believe me if you have had years of your heart being out of rhythm, then it feels totally different. I am not forcing anything, not rushing, just take the time and space to heal. The puncture wound has healed very well indeed, although it still feels sensitive (logical) and I pay attention to keeping it extra clean.
There is a heat wave in The Netherlands, so this means that I am literally spending my days in the garden in the shade (too hot in the sun) and either reading, writing or listening to music. I have made my own playlist, all my favorite songs and often I sit with a cup of tea listening to them. It makes me relax, music is so important in my life.
I spend quite a time making glass mosaics, a new hobby and do one of the largest I have ever done. This is a present for Lukas to say: ‘Thank you for healing my heart’. I will give it to him when I see him on the 14thAugust.
That is what I really like to do, be creative. It is relaxing. Not worrying about shopping, what meals to make, whether I have to do this or that, this time is now for me, and me alone.
I am literally giving my physical body the chance to heal, to flush out all the ‘waste’ in my cells from the sedation. I am still taking my complete package of medication and will continue to do so until the next appointment.
The weather gets hotter and hotter and we have temperatures, which we have never experienced in The Netherlands. Everything is dying in the heat, the lawn looks like the African Savannah, just brown dust, and cracks in the soil. A lot of the trees are starting to lose their leaves; it’s like autumn without any colour. Parched and very dry.
A month later after the ablation my groin is still painful and I find it increasingly difficult to walk. My dog only wants a short walk, the pavements and road are too hot for his paws, but even a short distance is too much. I have emailed with Lukas about it and he replies that he is sure it is nothing to do with blood vessels, maybe a muscular problem or joints? Eventually I make an appointment with my own local GP and get sent straight off to the local hospital for an X-ray of my pelvic area. Bad news, my hip needs replacing. Another operation this year and the third one. Unfair!
In the discussion with my GP we talk about the pros and con’s of where I should go. Should I choose for a clinic and then it could all be done in a couple of weeks or wait and go back to Catharina Hospital. It may sound strange but this hospital is my sort of safe haven. Because my entire medical records are on the computer, my own cardiologist is there and I know only too well, if I try and go to a clinic in my local area, once they hear my medical history, they will just say that I have to go to a regular hospital. So I choose for the one where they already know me.
All through the month of July it is sweltering hot, everybody is going on and on about the weather, everyone is waiting for rain.
At the beginning of August, a fantastic week away with one of my best friends. She has been through a tricky divorce and we both decided a break would do us good. A whole week, each and every day was a surprise what we were going to do and ending the week with two days in a Wellness Centre. I felt so much better after that.
Also I have a new book on the go. Suddenly got inspiration from a story someone told me about a retreat they had been on and the idea got going in my head. I have the basic story line, but then I need 8 characters to be in it. Surprisingly as it always goes, the characters just turn up by chance meetings, or stories heard from others and I am typing in the garden nearly every day in the meantime. I have a chair in the shade and a table, the dog lying by my feet and it just flows.
14th August 2018
So now, it’s the morning of the 14thAugust. A date that seemed so far away in May, but the time has literally flown by. Traffic is busy (as always) and about to leave to be on time.
I had to divert from my usual route because of a bad accident near Tilburg and it seems a much longer way around. But get there with plenty of time to spare so have renewed my hospital pass (it had expired in May) and then an ECG and a chat to Lukas’ assistant. I settle down and engross myself in a magazine with a half hour wait until my appointment.
So let’s see how my heart is doing after all that work, on such a special day and what Lukas has to say:
“I am happy to see that you are doing well and that your heart is consistently in sinus rhythm. We can now conclude that the chances of recurrence of atrial fibrillation are very, very low. You did very well by taking it easy in the first week, as it prevents a.o. bleeding complications in the groin. I truly appreciate your kind words and will transfer them to the rest of the team that took care of you.”
After we have finished talking about my heart, the ECG is perfect, blood pressure fine and then Lukas shows me the film on the computer of the actual ablation. This is quite special, I am looking at a film of the inside of my own heart and one of the things that made me feel quite emotional, was that I could see the ‘Carpentier Ring’ around my mitral valve, the work done in 1974 in England (as I have mentioned in earlier blogs) and still working perfectly. It made us both think and we said that, the wonders of heart surgery all those years ago. Because there have been huge strides made over the years.
A quick chat about the changes to my medication. On the one hand, I think, ‘never change a winning collection’, but my heart does not really need some of the tablets anymore because it is in perfect rhythm. So some of the amounts have been halved and with a new prescription printed out, I decide it’s time to give Lukas the present I have made from him.
.
I can see by his reaction that he is really pleased and once he had unpacked it, with a bit of help from me, he said he loves it! Good. I wonder if he will actually take it home, or put it up somewhere in the hospital itself. No doubt he will say.
(The picture is in the hospital in his office, its rightful new home I feel).
We had decided beforehand because of the huge amount of reactions to our blogs that we will make a photo together (see above). After several attempts at trying to look into the lens on my Iphone, eventually the last three photos are excellent, and to my mind show a happy, smiling doctor because he knows he did a really amazing job using his talent and expertise, his team and the whole operation had worked and been a great success. And an eternally grateful and happy patient because he literally healed my heart. There are really not enough words for me (despite the fact that writing is my thing) to say how happy I am, incredibly grateful and thrilled to have a heart working normally again after such a long time. Back in rhythm with everything.
Next check up in 6 months time. Excellent date once more 14thFebruary (Valentine’s Day) so all about hearts!!
Normally at the end of the appointment, we would shake hands and say, ‘see you soon’, but this time, we gave one another a hug. Seemed the right thing to do. Probably not many patients actually do this normally, but for me it felt right. Just a few seconds of closeness, so that he had no doubt whatsoever how grateful I am and always will be. A hug represents a thousand thank-you’s.
Jill Kramer Dr. Lukas Dekker
© August 2018 © Catharina Hospital
Eindhoven, The Netherlands
Photos © Private collection: Jill Kramer & Lukas Dekker
USE YOUR HEAD AND NOT YOUR HEART !!!!
Several months ago I wrote a blog about a story of a friend of mine (Flirting on the Net) which you can find in my feed.
Now I have decided to write a second piece and share something, which has happened to me personally. It is not easy to write this piece, but I feel that I have to say something, in the hope that all of you out there will read it, listen to what I am saying; there are so many victims all over the world. You may be one of them. You may read this and think: ‘this will never happen to me!’ I would agree with you, but believe me, it can. I consider myself to be a reasonably intelligent person, but these scammers are so clever and know exactly the right words to say, and believe me each and every one of you will fall for this. I can almost hear people saying: “Me! Never!’
So just read on please….
Over the past year or so my blogs on WordPress have been catching a huge amount of attention all over the world. Some of course are written by me about subjects, some are about my books and some have been about my personal situation. This includes the series of blogs, I wrote with my cardiologist, Dr. Lukas Dekker, about the healing of my own heart.
This one in particular and it is a series of 4, because I have published part four this morning, before continuing to write this piece.
The number of emails I received every day was just mind blowing, from all corners of the world. Some short and sweet saying things like: good writing, interesting piece etc and others were even more glowing. I try every day to respond to all comments people write on the feed. Why? Well, I think when someone compliments me on my (or our) work, then it is polite to say ‘thank you’.
One of the reactions I received was from another Doctor. An orthopaedic surgeon, working with the United States Army on a mission with the United Nations in Mogadishu, Somalia. For special reasons I am not going to mention any names and will explain why a little further on.
A huge compliment, how impressed he was about the connection between doctor and patient and this lead to an email discussion between us. Some What’s app chats, photos exchanged.
One thing leads to another and I found myself communicating on a fairly regular basis. Not about much in particular but just chitchat. And we all do that all the time these days on social media.
Then came his story. His wife had tragically died of pancreatic cancer. All far too fast, he was heart broken. It all sounded so plausible. Because he really had no will to live anymore, he signed up for a mission in Somalia. This is a serious war zone and it is tough out there believe me. His work entailed more or less, helping victims of terrorist violence. It all sounded really horrific.
He was really interested in my writing he told me, had read a lot of the blogs on the feed and please where could he purchase one of my books? The thought that this could just be ordered and posted off to some US Army base in Somalia, seemed impossible, and because of this, I sent him the entire manuscript by email in a ‘pdf file’. This did not worry me unduly because my books are published through a publisher here in The Netherlands and protected by copyright. He made me feel sorry for him and I thought, well he can certainly pass the time as far as I am concerned, when not working, reading my book. I share a lot of my work through this platform, so it is not entirely new for me.
Then the next bit of news came. He has a son, 15 years old and he had left his son in boarding school in the USA whilst he was on his mission. This was the first moment, that I had any doubt. I wondered who would leave their child back in the USA and then go on a dangerous mission, after the loss of his wife and the boy’s mother? There were really no answers, so I just left it, thinking perhaps it was a painful subject to discuss.
And so the contact continued, nothing out of the ordinary, just a couple of emails now and again and just discussing general subjects. He had my mobile phone number, and again this is on my website, so I did not think much about it and we had ‘whatsapp’ contact.
Then a disaster, his son had been involved in a ‘hit and run’ accident and was dangerously ill in hospital. This man needed to get home to his son, all sounds feasible doesn’t it? I just presumed that the US Army of course, will arrange everything and he sort of disappeared ‘off the radar’ for a while. Just assumed he was on compassionate leave and had gone home. His son had died by the way, that message I had received. It all sounded very tragic, first his wife and then his son. I truly felt really sorry for him. In such circumstances this is exactly what the US Army would do in a family crisis. Planes are flying into these zones on a daily basis.
I had a couple of photos of him. And believe me he was very very handsome, looked really nice and he had some of my photos. As I am a writer and work through a lot of social media channels, you can easily find my photos too, I often share them in my blogs, but they are all always marked with copyright! Always!
It was quiet for a while and then he came back to me, the discussions were hard sometimes and often I felt like saying things, please stop sending me messages. Things I said would often irritate him. Talking in short sentences either through Whatsapp or email is not like having a normal conversation with anyone. Believe me.
Then the compliments started to come: He thought I was pretty, had a nice smile, beautiful eyes and there is a saying in English: ‘flattery will get you everywhere’. It is true it does. Why?
Well, each and every one of us, likes to be complimented, it is good for our ego. Our own self-worth and esteem. It is a ‘feel good moment’. We do not give one another enough compliments. If you are thinking by chance, not true, just be honest and ask yourself when was the last time I really complimented someone on either their appearance, their work, their manner, the way the look after their family, children, friends. The way they are your friends, how they support you, if they are totally honest with you and so the list goes on.
But be honest, when was the last time you really did that?
This is why I am sharing this painful story about myself, as a sort of ‘wake up call’ for all of you out there. Saying even though you may be shaking your head and thinking, this will never happen to me. It will. These people know better than anyone else how to appeal to your own vulnerability.
The story continues:
Yes, of course he was in love with me, wanted to meet me, would like to start a new life with me. Wanted a second chance in life. It had all been so horrific, upsetting, traumatic so far. He has lost his first wife (first love of course), now his son. Was stuck in a dreadful place, dealing with death, trauma and heartache every single day and wanted a second chance. He even went so far to contact me saying he was now in the US back in his home in Florida. I believed it all.
The friends I told about this contact all despaired of me. I was open and honest with them, showed them his pictures and all of us agreed he was really totally lovely and that he seemed to have entered my social field in a totally legitimate way.
Within a matter of weeks, he was totally in my life and in some ways I was with him. He asked me if I was married? Yes. Children yes! Told him their ages. He asked me my age but I refused to say, making a comment along the lines: a gentleman never asks a lady her age.
He sent me romantic love songs, told me he was falling in love with me and so it went on and on.
I was well and truly hooked! And everyone would have been. Lovely romantic messages, like good morning honey, did you sleep well? Hi, love hope you have a wonderful day. On my birthday he sent me a long message along the lines of maybe this time next year we can celebrate together….. you are the most important woman in my life. Oh my goodness it makes me almost cringe typing these words. It sounded so good but it was so untrue.
At a certain moment, I began also to have doubts about his English. English is my mother tongue and even though I know that American’s can perhaps do their grammar in a different way, but it was things like: saying ‘he’s book’ instead of ‘his book’. Small tiny errors like that. I saw it and thought maybe it is because he is rushing typing like me sometimes on an Iphone.
The photos I had at that stage were the only 4. Two of him in his doctor’s tenure, maybe just out of an operating theatre. The other two of him: one in a car and the second, which was the one I actually liked the best, of him running in some park. He talked about sport, healthy life styles, eating healthy food. He had explained that because he was in a protected warzone, he could not send pictures, he could not talk via video on Whatapp, he could not record messages. He worked with a military desk top, protected of course so that the terrorists cannot locate where signals come from. The speed of the Internet too was amazing and I was so naive, thinking this was because of special satellites around a US Army base, United Nations, all heavily guarded and protected.
So stupid and so gullible. I cannot find other words to describe myself.
Then one morning out of the blue, two more photos, even more handsome, every more devastating and then the nagging questions came up in my mind. A man who looks as good as he does, why me? What does he think is so special about me? He could have his pick of thousands of women all over the world with a smile like his (perfect white teeth), lovely brown eyes, the point was he was just gorgeous and I was so flattered that he actually seemed to think I was something special too.
Suddenly and I do not know the reason why, one of my friends checked one of his photos. I had shared it with her, asking the same questions as in the paragraph above: why me?
Also my own husband, with whom I had been fairly open with about our contact as it all seemed to be so legitimate. I did not tell him about ALL the messages, but I had shown him the photos, said we were in contact, just general chatter. Which is all was.
He had also told me that he wanted to come to the country where I live, wanted to meet me.
Then I started to dig around the Internet, called in a favour from someone very high in the US and asked for help. Suddenly the rosy coloured glasses had been completely removed from my eyes. I was so shocked the more I surfed around! Yesterday was an awful day, a day when everything became apparent.
There on the Internet were thousands of photos of the same man. Hundreds of different aliases, and even more sad, hundreds of stories from his victims. People who were all saying the same thing. He was so handsome and looked so nice, they had ALL FALLEN FOR THE SAME STORY! Sometimes he was a doctor in Syria, in Mali, the Middle East. Everywhere you can imagine in the world where there is some drama going on. It is all done to make you feel sorry for them. He fell quickly in love with everyone supposedly and everyone was flattered, just like I was.
I read all the stories and some of them were really heartbreaking and this is the reason why I am sharing this with all of you. A woman in the US who had sent more than $180.000 !!!!!! Stories about needing money for sick children in Africa. Stories about him having had all his personal things stolen and being stuck somewhere. There was a long article from the NY Times on this subject. Well there were literally hundreds of stories on the sites (scam hunters to name but one). The same pattern, the same story and hundreds of women who had been taken in by it all.
He seemed also to be using the photos of a Dr (a neurosurgeon in Sao Paulo in Brazil), who can be easily found on Internet. And there in all his photos were the ones I had had too! It was a big shock believe me. Angry at first and then my own determination to write about this and share with everyone. I am not mentioning names. But believe me I have done absolutely everything I can to report this, going as high as the FBI and the CIA. You can find the necessary forms to fill in yourself on internet by just typing in the words I have used: like romantic scams, false scams with US Military, US Doctors etc etc.
These are serious forms and you have to fill them in properly. As I have travelled a lot in the past to the USA and North America, I know that these forms are similar to requesting an ESTA visa to visit the country. They are on a special site and you have to download the forms. If you fill them in, you are making a legal declaration. Do not be tempted to fill in rubbish or lies, you have to digitally sign them at the end and making a false statement is punishable by US law. Do not do this half-heartedly should you decide after reading my blog to do this.
I have given my address, phone number and details. Why? Because I know from experience that these forms are genuine, you can only download them from a proper site.
I have given my own IP address too, I have nothing to hide I have done nothing wrong, just been yet another unfortunate victim who fortunately woke up in time. I am so grateful to all my close friends and one in particular who set the ball rolling.
You will find words written about never ever sending money to anyone you do not know personally. I must say that I would never, under any circumstances have done this, but believe me I have read so many stories over the past couple of days, people saying exactly the same thing but still doing it. The trick is that you are asked to send money to Western Union and the people behind this can just go and collect. As simple as that.
I have also seen forms about requesting Military Leave in the US Army, they all look so genuine. Stories about emails received from US attorneys, who are dealing with their leave, about their so-called frozen bank accounts, about being a recipient for their funds. To be a recipient of their funds you will be asked to send details, perhaps even your own personal bank account. In everything I have read, the US Army confirm you will never be asked such questions by their personnel, soldiers or doctors alike.
Be careful if you have sent details already, they will then ask you to send a transfer fee of 1% of the total sum.
Be sensible, be aware and use your head and not your heart!!
The Dr. in Brazil has a very active profile indeed, he is all over social media, from Instagram, You Tube, Facebook: you name it he is on it. There are photos and videos. It all looks genuine, but is it? I don’t know and I will make no judgement other than to say, as you have read in my own blogs; I am a friend with my own cardiologist. I know the hours he works every day, the amount of emails and work pressure he is under. He may also be easily found on Internet, photos and his work but I would only say that he is just too busy to constantly be adding posts on social media. Doctors have a very busy life style all day every day and more important the care of their patients. That is why they have spent years and years doing their training, got their medical degree and become specialists in their field. It takes years.
Another thing I looked at yesterday was my own Instagram account. I use it as a medium to send out messages about my work, my books and sometimes just nice pictures of sunsets, flowers and such like. Sometimes of my dog, but never ever of my home. My children are also on social media, you can link them in with me easily.
And not only by the fact that we have the same surname!
In my followers I found a number of people with the same photo, different names, the same man. It is quite frightening when you think how easily they can penetrate our social media. As I said earlier we are all on social media in some form or another. Facebook has recently had a lot of negative publicity about the safety of data. Data is not safe.
Take the time to ensure you regularly changed your own passwords. Protect your own privacy. Some accounts have a two -step identification procedure. Yes, it is all time consuming but so worth it. Put your privacy setting to the highest possible, as far as Facebook is concerned. Only allow people to post on your own time line when you approve. Just take more care. We are very lax on this matter, all of us.
If you save your passwords in a so-called secure wallet. Change that password or code regularly. Experts are not advising us to do this without a good reason.
Hackers and scammers are brilliant and they get in everywhere easily and why? Because we talk too much about our personal life. We all share far too many photos. If you want to share a photo with someone, do it through the encrypted message to message in Whatsapp. Only the person you mark as the recipient can see your message and vice versa.
So I will bring this long piece to a conclusion. I want to say how sorry I am to read all these stories on the internet about the victims, maybe you are one of them, I hope maybe you will feel brave enough to share your own story on my feed. I will certainly approve anyone’s honest story and you do not have to be ashamed. Literally everyone can be taken in completely by these scammers. You are brave if you dare to share.
I could have mentioned all the names, but I have not on purpose. I have sent a message privately to the Dr. in Brazil; he does not seem to do anything about the fact that these people are constantly using his own photos. Maybe he thinks and this I can agree with on one score. By giving it attention you give it energy! Think about that. If anyone reads this who knows him personally, I hope you will pass this blog onto him to read. I have no wish to offend, or make judgement about him.
For those of you who wonder who this Dr. is, I will only say: Google a neurosurgeon in Sao Paulo Brazil and you will find him easily. He is all over social media.
Look at his photos, you are allowed to think he is totally gorgeous looking, he is!
It has and I will be totally honest, hit me hard! I have spoken about it with my own family. Luckily I have never sent money anywhere and would not. But there are people who are so desperate to find love and affection and this is exactly what scammers are looking for and then they pray on your vulnerability.
I have learned a lesson from this and I am not going to go into the victim role, but I am writing this blog in the hope that everyone who reads this on my feed will pass it around in their own social circles. There are too many victims in the world, all over the world and this has to stop. It has to stop now.
Finally, the US Government is very clear. This is a punishable offence by law. Recently three Nigerian people were arrested for doing exactly this in Texas and the prison sentence 27 years for each of them. 27 years!!!
It is food for thought isn’t it?
THIS HAS TO STOP.
If you have anyone in this situation, I will only ask be gentle with them. Let them read this blog, Talk to them, try and make them realize that it is literally a scam, try and stop them doing things they may regret. To read that someone lost $180.000 is just shocking.
Please feel free to share, the more women around the world unite (and maybe men too) this terrible harassment will maybe become less lucrative!
USE YOUR HEAD AND NOT YOUR HEART!!!!!!!
Image: Google Images
Coming soon!
This is a photo I took yesterday (30th August 2018) whilst working on my latest project. A new book. The title is: The Art of Confessions.
Another fictional novel with eight different characters. I am actually working with special writer’s software at the moment, so that everyone has their own story and then it will be all woven together to form my latest book. Having great fun with it, it’s totally different than other books written by me. The cover has already been designed by one of my friends – Annette Barel. She made it for me last week and the amazing thing is, that despite the fact she did not know a lot of details about the story, the entire picture has really depicted what it is all about.
Working steadily on every day. This is the actual spot I work from in my house, on my MacBook at the table in my room. So I thought I would share with you all. Still enjoying a marvelous summer here in the Netherlands as August draws to a close and September begins.
Watch this space, all will be revealed in good time. Still a lot to write and it is fun seeing how the characters interact with one another.
Hope to publish before the end of the year.
And here are Annette and I in deep discussion about the book (later that day).
PS. STOP PRESS 5th September 2018
DECIDED TO ADAPT THE TITLE TO: THE ART OF CONFESSIONS. No idea why, it just fitted in better with how the story is developing. It is interesting to actually see how the cover is changing too. It is finished and ready, but still changing. Magical as if it is alive with the story.